Who Am I?

about me

Most of the normal details about me are pretty mundane, so I included the 20 bits of trivia that someone asked me to do for a thing:

1. I was born in Cambridge on Christmas Eve while my dad watched Match of Day.
2. The first primary school I went to had 23 children in total. It closed down within a year of me going there.
3. We had a pet pig growing up called Betty. Betty was stolen from an animal research centre.
4. Prince Charles came round my house when I was a kid. He was admirer of the architect who designed it. None of us were in. Only a neighbour saw him. He knocked on the door, looked through a window, then fucked off.
5. I was a solitary child. I used to play lawn bowls with myself in the garden. That is not a euphemism.
6. Due to a clerical error my national insurance card arrived with my name printed as ‘Nob’. It’s not Nob. It’s Nick.
7. At one point in the 2011 Barcelona Marathon I was flat last. I was pacing myself.
8. I reached the Grand Final of a TV quiz show called Fifteen-to-One during my A-levels.
9. I didn’t do very well in my A-levels.
10. I studied journalism at university. I was also captain of the University Challenge team, during the recording of which Jeremy Paxman sneered at my knowledge of current affairs.
11. I didn’t become a journalist.
12. Off set Jeremy Paxman was a lovely man.
13. I have worked for the Clarins cosmetics company for 14 years. I get a free product a week as a perk. I made sure my mother-in-law was aware of this when I first met her.
14. My toes look like fingers.
15. I am a fire warden at my office and I have a certificate to prove it. The job comes with a day-glo waistcoat. When I wear it I feel like I can rule the world.
16. I recently reached the semifinals of Mastermind (you can see it here, apologies for the aggressive chin). During the first round I made the questionable fashion decision to wear red espadrilles and no socks. It prompted one Twitter user to use the now immortal hashtag #bellend.
17. I’m quite into quizzes.
18. But I’m more into my wife and sons.
19. Last Christmas I set my parents’ chimney on fire. Which would also be the most misjudged Wham cover ever.
20. These days I’m normally asleep before Match of the Day.